Grief, Love, and Letting Go: Lessons from Timmy

Introduction

Grief comes to us in many forms — the loss of a loved one, the end of a chapter, or the quiet letting go of something deeply cherished. For me, grief arrived with the passing of my little dog Timmy, my loyal companion for nearly a decade. His journey through illness, and ultimately his death, became one of the deepest lessons in compassion, self-love, and acceptance I have ever experienced.

The Diagnosis

It all started in January when Timmy was diagnosed with stage 4 kidney failure. The vet gave me the full picture: it could be a week, or it could be years — we simply don’t know how long his kidneys will last.

Timmy was about 12 years old (though we never knew for sure since he was a rescued street dog). He needed treatments and a special diet.

For weeks, our lives fell into a new rhythm. Every morning and evening we spent an hour together doing IV drips — our cuddle time. I’d light incense, play soft music, and hold him close. Oddly enough, these moments were beautiful, warm, and cosy.

My kitchen turned into a dog food kitchen. Normally I don’t even cook meat, but here I was preparing chicken breast, vegetables, and carefully crafted low-sodium meals. Timmy was for sure eating more home cooked healthy meals than me. I learned more than I ever expected about renal diets, treatments, and kidney failure.

And for a while, it worked. After a month, he perked up — full of character again, stubborn as always. That was how I knew he felt well.

But I also knew: we were living on borrowed time.

The Decline

Six months later, the real journey began. Timmy slowly stopped eating. I’d prepare four different dishes, hoping something would tempt him, but nothing worked. He grew thinner by the day.

The IVs no longer helped. His body was holding toxins, his skin broke into rashes and wounds. I had him shaved to give him some relief, and seeing how skinny he was underneath all that fur, broke my heart.

And yet, he still wanted to go everywhere with me — especially on the scooter. He refused to miss out on adventure, right until the end.

A few days before he passed, we took one last trip to the beach. I sat next to a young man who began sharing his own story. He was battling a terminal illness, speaking with a quiet bravery and peace. Listening to him, I finally understood the word I had been resisting: acceptance.

The Hardest Decision

As Timmy declined further, the suffering became undeniable. He was restless, in pain, and caught between two worlds. There was no more medication that could help. I realised I was holding on more for myself than for him.

One of the hardest moments of my life was making the call to the vet to set a time for his passing. Friday at 1 p.m. — a date and hour etched into my heart. It broke me to make that choice, but love meant not letting him suffer any longer.

And yet, Timmy seemed to understand. The night before, I slept next to him on the floor, whispering that it was okay to let go. He pressed his face against mine with so much tenderness, as if to say goodbye.

The next morning, just hours before the scheduled appointment, he had a fit in my arms — and then, peacefully, he took his last breath. Timmy chose his own moment. He spared me from having to follow through with that impossible decision.

Saying Goodbye

At Ubuntu, behind the yoga shala, we laid Timmy to rest. Friends gathered, we cried, we hugged, and covered him with flowers. It was a simple, heartfelt farewell to a soul who had touched so many lives.

What Grief Taught Me

Timmy taught me about patience, presence, and unconditional love. But most of all, he showed me that real love isn’t about clinging or fixing. Real love is compassion. Real love is the courage to let go.

Closing Reflection

Grief often feels unbearable, but it also holds deep wisdom. It reminds us of our capacity to love and the necessity of self-compassion as we navigate loss. Through Timmy’s journey, I learned that letting go is not the end of love — it is the ultimate expression of it.