Compassion : The Radical Practice of Empowerment

We often think of compassion as softness.

As being kind, gentle, forgiving, understanding. Perhaps even as something slightly passive: feeling sorry for someone, offering a helping hand, or simply trying to be a “good” person.

But I have come to see compassion very differently.

Compassion is not weakness. It is strength.

In fact, I believe compassion may be one of the most radical forms of empowerment available to us.

Because compassion asks us to do something that is surprisingly difficult: to see suffering clearly, to allow ourselves to be touched by it, and to choose how we respond rather than simply reacting.

And perhaps this is where yoga has something important to teach us.

## The yoga mat as a laboratory for compassion

One of the things I love about yoga is that the practice gives us a laboratory in which we can observe ourselves.

Not ourselves as we would like to be.

Not the spiritual, peaceful, flexible version of ourselves we sometimes imagine we should become through yoga.

But ourselves as we actually are.

Watch what happens when you cannot do a posture you used to be able to do.

When your body is stiff.

When you are tired.

When you lose your balance.

When the person next to you seems stronger, more flexible or more advanced.

Or when you simply don't feel like practicing.

These moments are not obstacles to the practice.

They are the practice.

Because what matters is not only what the body is doing, but the quality of the relationship we establish with ourselves while doing it.

Do we become frustrated? Critical? Impatient?

Do we push harder because we believe we should be able to do more?

Do we compare ourselves?

Or can we remain present with what is actually happening?

This is where self-compassion begins.

And self-compassion does not mean lowering our standards or becoming indulgent.

It does not mean giving ourselves permission to avoid everything that is difficult.

Quite the opposite.

Self-compassion allows us to meet difficulty without turning against ourselves.

We can still practice discipline. We can still cultivate tapas, commitment and perseverance. We can still challenge ourselves and move beyond our comfort zone.

But we don't have to use violence against ourselves to grow.

There is a profound difference between discipline and self-punishment.

Between effort and force.

Between challenging ourselves and rejecting ourselves.

Perhaps this is one of the great lessons of a mature yoga practice:

> We can be committed to transformation without being at war with who we are.

## From self-compassion to compassion for others

And something interesting happens when we begin to practice this way.

The compassion we cultivate toward ourselves gradually changes the way we relate to other people.

If every uncomfortable sensation is something to fight, suppress or overcome, we are constantly training ourselves to relate to difficulty through resistance.

But if we learn to stay present with discomfort, to breathe through it, to listen and respond rather than react, we are cultivating another possibility.

We are learning that discomfort does not necessarily require resistance.

And eventually, this extends beyond the yoga mat.

The person who irritates us.

The partner who disappoints us.

The student who struggles.

The colleague who behaves in a way we don't understand.

The stranger whose worldview is completely different from ours.

These become opportunities to practice the same thing.

Can I remain present?

Can I listen?

Can I resist the impulse to immediately judge, defend or attack?

Can I recognise that there is another human being in front of me, with their own history, fears, wounds and conditioning?

This doesn't mean accepting harmful behaviour.

Compassion is not the absence of boundaries.

It doesn't mean allowing people to hurt us or pretending that everything is okay.

In fact, sometimes compassion requires us to say no.

Sometimes it requires us to take action.

Sometimes it requires us to confront injustice.

Which brings me back to the idea that compassion is not weakness.

Compassion is the capacity to respond to suffering with clarity, courage and action.

## Compassion as a radical act of empowerment

This is perhaps why I find the work of people such as His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Kailash Satyarthi so inspiring.

Their lives represent very different expressions of compassion.

One comes from a profound contemplative tradition centred around the transformation of the mind and the cultivation of universal compassion.

The other has devoted his life to confronting injustice and fighting for the rights and freedom of children.

Yet there is something deeply common between them.

Compassion is not simply something they feel.

It becomes a way of seeing, a way of being and ultimately a way of acting in the world.

And this distinction is important.

It is easy to talk about compassion.

It is much harder to practice it when we are tired, angry, frightened, triggered or confronted with something we fundamentally disagree with.

This is why I think of compassion as a practice.

Just like asana.

Just like pranayama.

Just like meditation.

We don't become compassionate because we decide one day that compassion is a good idea.

We cultivate it through repetition.

We practice staying present.

We practice softening without collapsing.

We practice remaining strong without becoming rigid.

We practice responding instead of reacting.

And slowly, these qualities become part of who we are.

## From the mat into the world

Perhaps this is one of the reasons yoga remains so relevant today.

The practice is not ultimately about becoming better at yoga.

It is about becoming better at being human.

The mat gives us a contained environment in which we can experiment with how we relate to ourselves, to discomfort, to limitation, to change and to uncertainty.

And then we take what we learn into the rest of our lives.

We practice compassion with ourselves.

Then with the people we love.

Then perhaps with the people we struggle to love.

And eventually, perhaps, with people we don't even know.

This is where the personal practice becomes a social practice.

Inner transformation and outer transformation are not separate.

The way we treat ourselves contributes to the way we treat others. And the way we treat others contributes to the kind of world we create together.

## The Book of Compassion

This is why I am particularly excited about our upcoming event around The Book of Compassion, featuring the reflections and conversations of His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Kailash Satyarthi.

For me, the book offers an invitation to explore compassion from both sides: the inner and the outer, contemplation and action, personal transformation and social responsibility.

And perhaps that is ultimately what our yoga practice is inviting us into as well.

Not simply to become more flexible.

Not simply to become calmer.

Not simply to become better versions of ourselves.

But to become more capable of meeting life — our own life and the lives of others — with presence, courage and an open heart.

Perhaps the question is not:

“How can I become a more compassionate person?”

But rather:

“How can I practice compassion, right here, right now?”

On the mat.

In the breath.

In the way we speak to ourselves.

In the way we meet difficulty.

In the way we respond to another human being.

And ultimately, in the way we choose to participate in the world.

Because compassion is not something we simply have.

It is something we practice.

And perhaps the most radical practice of all is to discover that we can become both softer and stronger at the same time — strong enough to face suffering, and soft enough to care.

Damien & The Ubuntu Family